It is so often the case that we want or need somebody else to tell us what we want to hear - that everything is going to be okay. That the pain and suffering will one day go away. Our dreams will one day become reality. We are continually told that we have choice - it is our choice if we want to look and feel great and if we don't feel this, all we have to do is sign up for the next program, and we too can have a positive mindset, live without physical and emotional pain and have a fantastic life.
Truthfully, after such a long time of 'change your mindset' and 'think positively', why is it that we are still seeing such a rise in anxiety, depression, suicide, and hopelessness across the world? Is it our obsession with our 'self' that has contributed to this? Self-love, self-care, self-made, the selfie. This constant push to continually learn and grow and be coached to be a better version of ourselves is an indication to some that we will never be good enough. Is self-care making us more self-critical? Pain and suffering is part of life. There is loss, devastation, heartache, disappointment, illness - and for some this is not a choice. It comes with circumstance.
So, before we talk to someone about choosing - it is important to understand the nature of their circumstance.
We see patients regularly who have been constantly pushing and striving to 'fix' themselves - too much, too fast and it often leads to scatter, confusion, and deregulation.
What is happening in our life will determine if we need to ground and have stability or if we need to be curious in growth.
S - Stop
T - Take 3 deep breaths
O - Observe what is happening in body
P - Proceed slowly, gently with kindness.