Many of our patients share their feelings of overwhelm or family pressure, peer pressure, and humanity at large, to do things their way, the way things have always been done.
It is not always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many people may feel threatened when those close to them make choices divergent from the ones they are making. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behavior. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.
Just because an idea or way of doing things is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. However, part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don’t take the time to explore and determine what’s right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing, we just drift along on the current of popular opinion. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren’t what we call conscious decisions.
We encourage moving forward with exploring, gentleness, openness, and tolerance. It can help if we are calmly persistent, consistent, and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. At the same time, we have the right to say that we are tired of talking about it and simply need our choices to be respected.